A few days ago I received a call from a woman who is looking to start a dancing career. She was very interested in what we had to offer, but she could not make a decision when it mattered. Why? Because she’s afraid. Afraid that she will not be as great as a dancer. Afraid that she will not like it. Her questions went along the lines: “ What if I try and something does not go the way I would like to, what if the employee will not pay out my salary, what if they will not like the way I dance and they ask me to leave?”
She’s afraid of what MIGHT happen. How often has fear held you back, even when you really want to do something?
First of all, it’s absolutely normal that you are afraid, everyone is. It’s absolutely normal that you want to protect yourself, it’s what evolution has thought every one of us. After all in Maslow pyramid of needs, security is one of the priorities. We are programmed to protect ourselves, it’s normal. You will not jump into a lake if you can’t swim, you will not drink milk if you are lactose intolerant. You will not do anything that could cripple you or worse. These are REASONABLE fears from consequences that we CAN predict.
However, our everyday life is full of fears from unknown, we fear something that we CAN NOT PREDICT.
Remember first time when you got behind car wheel, the first time you drove in city center behind that wheel? Exactly, fear. Fear to make a mistake, fear to crash the car. And how about your first day in school? What did you feel going to your first date? Your first poem in front of the class? First meeting with a client, first kiss, first seeing the special other parents? Yea… we can go on and on and on… Fear. We live in a constant cocktail of fear and anxiety when something unknown occurs. When we do something for the first time. We fear the UNKNOWN.
The thing with the fear of something you CAN’T predict is that you can and should fight it. Everything good in life comes on the other side of these unpredictable fears. Out of that comfort zone you have created yourself. You know it. Ask yourself honestly.
I remember my first game of basketball. I was preparing to deliver for several months. I knew all the combinations, I knew the defensive schemes, I knew what, where and when. And yet, I was so f afraid! Anxiety played a dance with fear, legs were stiff and arms were trembling. But nothing compares with the first time I went to my first client in order to check the quality of his water and if needed, to sell water filter to the client. The difference between the game of basketball and this, I was not ready… I knew only the very basics, my sales skills left much to be desired. To make things worse, I was not entirely sure how to test the water quality. Total improvisation. I was shaking. “ What will they think about me? What if they throw me out of the apartment? Will I screw something up again?” I was so close to turning around and walk away from clients doorstep and go home. The home where several weeks ago I felt my biggest fear of all – I had to tell my parents that I’m leaving college to start a sales job. So f afraid that they will get angry and throw me out of their home. But most of all, fear that they will be disappointed. It’s hard to find a worse feeling than disappointing your parents, especially your mothers. At least that’s what I thought at that point of my life.
These are fears of something that you CAN NOT predict. And everyone is affected by these fears. Everyone. It’s normal to be afraid. Remember, that at the beginning to everything that’s worthwhile is fear and anxiety. Every road worth walking starts there.
Beginning of that road is when you make your most important decision – to stop there and stay forever or start walking towards unknown and start writing your own story. What is the difference between successful people and someone that will throw their life away? Successful people overcome these fears of something they can’t predict. They are too obsessed with their goals, achievements, they WANT to realize themselves. The dream is bigger than fears. The one who is not willing to take risks will always work for someone who did. The choice is ALWAYS yours.
The moment you realize that letting these fears beat you, you are saying NO to financial freedom, NO to fulfilling your dreams, NO to being happy and fulfilled, that is the moment take your first step out of your comfort zone.
Remember that fear is like a fence that’s overcome by driven, dedicated and courageous. It’s a simple decision to be courageous. You face your fears of unknown.
You will not stumble on success by accident, it’s a result of your actions. It’s the only way. Inaction will help you achieve self-loathing and regret, that’s a guarantee. Be someone who is willing to take action, regardless of anything, even fear.
It’s human to be afraid. It’s also human to overcome.